Communication dating statistics
For instance, we report that men initiate 79% of conversations--and while about half of the initial messages are responded to, conversations initiated by men are more likely to be reciprocated.We also report that the length of conversations, the waiting times, and the length of messages have fat-tailed distributions.There are many reasons why some relationships become long distance.For instance, one or both partners may go away for military duty.
Non-marital relationships are not the only ones in which long distance may be a factor.
In ‘olden times’ (read: pre text, email, IM, Facebook, Twitter, blogs etc), if someone wasn’t calling you and arranging to see you regularly, plus the relationship wasn’t growing, you knew they weren’t making an effort and that they had , that they are interested although we may realise on some level that it’s not as much as we would like. Here’s the thing: If you expecting bare basics such as being called and to be able to call on a regular basis, is going to scare them off, you 1) have to recognise that the relationship is doomed and that 2) you could stand to raise your standards somewhat.
For those of us that live in Lala Land and would rather have a semblance of a ‘relationship’ on some terms rather than no terms, all this tippy-tapping of messages convinces us that they’re interested; it’s just that some obstacle is preventing them from getting in touch via traditional means or they’re ‘shy’ or ‘busy’ or that it’s the ‘new’ way of doing relationships. Genuine interaction, courtesy, respect, care, trust, intimacy – these things are not dead or old. The fact that someone would ever put you in the position of not knowing when you might hear from them next, or having your calls avoided, or them disappearing and then texting trying to pick up where they left off, or any other completely shady behavior, is indicative of an interaction without basic respect.
Let’s be real – If you only called someone you had sex or ‘romantic involvement’ with occasionally, would you really think that you were 1) that interested in them and that 2) they’re a priority?
Unfortunately we seem to have dropped our standards of what a relationship or someone being interested constitutes. We want to be easy going and the last thing we want to do is scare them off by attempting to clarify where we stand.Yes we may have some extra communication options, but people only claim it’s the new way of doing things to legitimize crappy behavior. The reality is this: Relationships require effort, connection, and intimacy as well as love, care, trust, and respect, and so the way of ‘olden times’ is actually exactly as it is .